8.9.2010 I was sitting in my sofa, and I felt asleep for about ten minutes. I had a very short dream, or something that felt like a dream - a stream of thoughts in an hypnagogic state. I dreamed, so to speak, that I was talking with a man that I knew somehow was the incarnation of Buddha. The subject of our conversation was the importance of each of our human acts: from the most insignificant to the most important en apparance. Tout est important dans son propre contexte, disait-il. Je regardais ses bras maigres et je voyais son sang couler dans un reseau de veines rouges. Tout est essentiel considere dans son propre microcosme, chaque chose est attrape dans un reseau inextricable de significations qui sont generees mais qui en meme temps sont a l'origine de cette chose. Nous sommes ses choses insignifiantes mais nous creons des mondes a chanque instant dans lequels il y a une but, un commencement, une fin. Choisir une robe, ouvrir une porte, trouves les mots convenables, eviter le soleil, s'incliner devant quelqu'un, contempler un coucher de soleil. Ce sont tous des mondes avec un commencement, une fin, et un but plus ou moins clair, un aboutissement qui est l'equivalent du bouton qui s'ouvre pour donner lieu a une fleur complete. Tout n'est peut etre qu'illusion disait-il, mais il n'y a que ca, et le jeu consiste justement a accepter les regles de ce jeu pour mieux le jouer sans souffrir ni etre oppresse par tous les liens qui peuvent a n'importe quel instant se refermer sur nous, se transformer en chaines et en questions vertigineuses. Meme dans ce reve, me dit-il, tu m'ecoutes mais tu est celui qui me cree, et tu essayes de me rendre parfait car c'est le but du reve. You are therefore a part of myself, a part of Buddha, and your self disintegrates in an effort to reach for something that is beyond itself. Even in a dream that you may regard as a mere dream as you wake up. I woke up - or should I say, I opened my eyes completely to the neon lights that shone from the kitchen. I then realized that I had lived a life in ten minutes, that I have been playing the game of life all along, even in a dream. Microcosmos within microcosmos.
12.9.2008 - Being an afterthought
From time to time, we are all (philosophical?) zombies! In fact, we are most of the time consciousless: most of what we do, we just do without really being aware of. Why then it looks like to ourselves as if we "are" there all the time? well, perhaps for the same reason that, at any time, it looks like to us that we are "seeing a perfectly detailed and total" image of the world with our eyes: because the potentiality of eliciting consciousness is there at any time: we can "switch" at any time a routine of "self awareness" so as to describe (to ourselves and to others) our current experience - but this does not mean that this routine is always on - nor that it need to be for us to "function" efficiently. We are not continuously scanning our actions, or at least not all the time with the same level of self-attention. Internal or external stimuli can switch this process on and off (cf. attentional self-less concept proposed in my boxedEg
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